The cultural blind spot of staying put

Jolanda is our guest today. Enjoy the interview and don't forget to vote at the bottom of this page.

‘Are you sure you want to interview me? I’m such an ordinary person. I don’t know if I can tell you something exciting.’

‘Yes, absolutely. I believe that every personal story is worth relating. It helps people to understand each other better.’

‘I agree that we must invest in understanding each other’s cultures. That’s something that often is lacking in our society. I mean we take the fun part: trying different cuisines, visiting beautiful sights in foreign countries, admiring foreign artists and styles. But when it comes to living side by side, that superficial understanding isn’t enough. You see, culture is not a part of our life, we are part of it.

‘It became very apparent to me when my family moved to Switzerland. It happened because of my husband’s job. We lived in Zug (canton of Zug). It’s relatively close to Zürich. Zug is a tax haven which makes it a popular hub for multinational companies (I knew many wealthy people there, but that's not the point). What struck me (in a positive way) was their love for rules and regulations. When you live in an apartment building you must respect your neighbours by not doing anything noisy (including taking a shower) after 22 and before 7 in the morning. If you are away and your teenage kids throw a party, expect a visit from the police. Your neighbours won’t come knocking on your door asking you to tune the music down. They will appeal to the authorities instead. You will be surprised. But that’s just the way they live. 

‘That strict and at the same time transparent, understandable world with clearly defined boundaries suits me very well. I felt at ease. Another part of the cultural difference was that the Swiss don’t generally invite you into their social circle. They mind their own business and keep mostly to themselves. We were fortunate to come with kids. We met other parents through the international school our kids went to. And in general, Zug was full of people from all over the world. But if you wanted to become friends with a Swiss, you had better give up that dream. You see, I’m telling you all as I experienced it. There isn’t a culture in the world that’s built only of easily acceptable traditions. Sometimes, there are cultural conflicts. I’m thinking about that simple thing—a handshake. You could offend a muslim lady by offering her a handshake. If she lives in the Netherlands, should she adapt to our culture? When in Rome, do as the Romans do. Right? But then I cannot say that she must turn away from her religion. I can’t offer a solution here but better understanding seems to be a key point. 

‘It devastates me how little thought our government gives to real people when calling migrants a problem. Yes, we are a small country with less land and resources to share. But it’s ridiculous to fall into the ‘migrants took our jobs and occupied our houses’ mental trap. There are measures that could be taken to manage the desperate situation on the real estate market. So far the government only came up with the law limiting the landowners’ profits. (Wet betaalbare huur, enacted July 2024) Needless to say, it didn’t increase the availability of houses for rent. Every five years (sometimes more often) they declare that the Netherlands is full. We cannot accommodate a single person above the current 18 million, they say. But is it so? Look at the statistics. There are more cows than residents in the Netherlands.

‘Maybe I shouldn’t put the whole responsibility for our quality of life on the government. We could take some of it on ourselves and pay more attention to each other. My daughter noticed when arriving back from Switzerland that our fellow citizens are awfully unpleasant: they whine and complain and do nothing to improve the situation they complain about. I personally noticed a behavioral shift after the Covid crisis. The individualistic values seem to spread far and wide. People stopped paying attention to others. They just do what they want, even if their actions keep the whole neighbourhood awake at night. Or maybe living abroad irreversibly changed my perception. Haha. It’s the best vaccine for mental rigidity. Highly recommend. I’d do it again, if I had a chance.’

‘Life in which countries would you like to experience?’

‘Many different ones. I mean I obviously can’t go to Ukraine or Israel at the moment but not because I’m not interested in their cultures. The U.S. seems a good candidate (but not while president Trump works at the White House), Australia, New Zealand, Korea, Norway. Yeah, the list is long.’

‘I know you do volunteer work. What’s your motivation?’

‘It’s simple, really. I don’t need to work for money but the stay-at-home-wife role never suited me very well. I wanted to do something useful, meet new people, and work with nice colleagues. And volunteer work is pretty common in the Netherlands (unlike in Switzerland). It was a natural choice. My schedule isn’t demanding and gives me great flexibility. I can go on vacation as many times a year and for as many days as I wish. No questions asked. On the other hand, as a coordinator of our volunteer group I can tell you there are some disadvantages of running a business with volunteers. An average person works four hours a week and not every week. Because of that we need a huge number of people to pack our seven-days-a-week schedule. It’s difficult. People aren’t motivated to fill in for a sick colleague. And I can’t blame them. Volunteers at the Mauritshuis aren’t even compensated for commuting expenses. Basically, when I ask someone to work an extra day, I ask that volunteer to pay for extra tram tickets. What’s fair about it?’

‘You mentioned a few crises: housing and Covid-19. Do you have some advice on how to handle stressful times?’

‘Unfortunately, no. I’m familiar with sleepless nights and stress-induced anxiety but know no remedy. The only thing that truly helps is having less problems. My life is less strenuous than it was in the past and it takes the pressure off. Even if I have a bad night's sleep today, it cannot ruin my tomorrow because there aren’t any urgent or important things planned. Having less problems lowers your stress level.’

We both laughed. 

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